UFO Insights: Disclosure... But What Kind? Part 2

So, back to Alexa's book "The Zero Point." How does the preceding blog installment co-mingle with what I'm going to share with you from this book? Hang in there, it jives together, trust me.

From Chapter 6: Love (Almost) under the section "This Thing Called Life."

"Human beings have become an endangered species in today's world. Human doings, on the other hand, have reached epidemic levels. With the help of technology – particularly social media – human doings are engaged in moment-by-moment distractions (me, here: GUILTY!). All you have to do is watch two people walking down the street. One is bound to be on his or her cell phone, minimally participating in life. We've all done it. I know because I've done it too, and I was a pro.

"What's worse is that we use being busy as both a badge of honor and an excuse for not being present or available. People claim they want to have time for (fill in the blank), when what they really mean is "I don't want to." Instead, they'll say something like "It's this thing called life." If you're busy, you don't have to speak your truth."

BAM!

That was the first in about three sections that I highlighted in this chapter. What did it say to me? Check out the second area I highlighted and I'll put it all together:

"When you are running around with your hair on fire because you have crammed every area of your life with activities, you have successfully created a boundary between your doing self and your being self. There is no time to feel feelings – too many people are counting on you! Everyone has busy periods, but when it becomes a way of life, it is a sign of dysfunction. You create a situation of needing to be needed so that you don't have to deal with yourself."

Okay this is the first part of that second area (more to come, but first….): I spent 32 years and 1 month working a job I despised. I had to take, at the least, 17 phone calls a day from people wanting transcripts and arguing with me on how to get them. "Well why can't I do it this way? Why can't you just do it this way? Why do I have to go through all this just to get my transcripts?" Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They would not listen, they did not WANT to do what they needed to do to obtain their transcripts. They wanted them handed over on a silver-platter because of laziness. And then they would not give me the correct information I needed to locate their records on microfilm. (IKR? Still on microfilm, but this was my life up until I retired at the end of September 2018.)

Each person who walked-in, each phone call, I had to repeat the script over and over and over and over. And it got worse over the span of 15-20 years because I was the only one who knew how to deal with a spaghetti microfilm system, and school sites who could not keep up with keeping track of their records. The main office, instead of giving phone requests or in-person requests to the person in charge of said school's records, referred them to ME. And these poor people would get the run-around because I would not have those records and they would have to go back to the school. I would give them specific instructions: "Do not talk to the main office. Ask specifically for the person in charge of records." Every – damn – day would this crap go on. But since I was the only one who knew all the tricks… I became invaluable to this place of employment.

The job slowly killed my spirit to helping anyone. My compassion got clobbered so badly that it's still covered in sludge even though that sludge is now bubbling, indicating my compassion is not completely dead. And honestly, I owe even that much of a healing to those who believe in Ascension and ETs. Not the conspiracy theorists, not the Cabal-hunting, Reptillian 'they're out to get us' circles. But the honest to goodness people striving to awaken human consciousness to something better on an energetic level.

I digress. Moving on:

For the few years before I retired, I realized I could not love anymore. It was a dead emotion. I could feel empathy for others, cry, be happy when they cried and were happy, but it was their emotion I was bouncing back to them, not my own. The only thing I give a damn about is the animals. (Now THOSE I can love with no problem. 😉)

So, it bothered me as to why I could not love. Alexa's words: "There is no time to feel feelings – too many people are counting on you!"

When a friend would ask me to play hooky, take a day off from work, I couldn't. I had to go to work because the burden of leaving the task to others was too great. They honestly did not know the tricks of the trade I'd learned, what questions to ask, where to look for the records… I was counted on to be there. And honestly, dealing with the aftermath of said situation only made my job worse. I'd have to go back over stacks of transcript requests and re-do them. I eventually got a co-worker who helped a great deal and got a crash-course on the type of job I was faced with. Bless his heart, he acclimated well into the job to cover for me when I got sick or needed a break. But we would STILL have to deal with the daily nightmares.

I finally got to the point where Source demanded I retire and focus on my scripts. (My only passion.) I've now been off work for almost 5 months and I'm only just NOW realizing many things about myself.

Second part of the second area I highlighted:

"What has actually been created is a sense of self-importance stemming from a place of insecurity rather than a desire for true service (Me, here: Law of One speaks of Service to Others, rather than Service to Self), which is an outward extension of self to other self, emanating from a deep, still core of Love. Running from one activity to another, even in the name of "good works," is self-involved—it's receiving rather than serving. Unless motives and intentions are clear, it is easy to confuse the two." (Me, here: I think it's the idea of "If I'm busy I won't have to look inside me to see why I'm so busy. I won't have to look at the reasons I need to be busy so I can ignore who I am deep within.")

But where is this leading to my train of thought?

To the final highlighted area in that chapter – to find stillness and connect with Oneness.

"When stillness knocks, you have the option of answering the call or not. You can lean toward the call of Oneness and the exploration of All That Is, or you can remain steadfastly in the illusion, moving quickly from one fix of duality to the next. Will you self-medicate or reach for the stillness? Ramp up the intensity or choose peace? No one can answer these questions but you."

When we immerse ourselves in things outside ourselves, we lose connection to who we are in the Oneness. When we focus on the hatred, the negative, the things that are WRONG with the world outside, we fail to see what is actually going on inside of us. For almost two decades, I floundered in a sea of chaos and confusion and stress. I got cancer because of it. (survivor going on 9 years now, thank you. 😉) Even writing my scripts has become another 'fix' for me to immerse myself in rather than focus on how to AWAKEN further.

What is going on 'out there' is a beast needing to be fed. The beast of fear who seeks to devour us by getting us to hate what we fear. Many in our country fear immigrants, Muslims, drug dealers, gangs, lack of gun control, hate crimes, our rights being stolen from us over our bodies. And so they combat those fears, sometimes hiding behind God's skirts to do it, or battling God's skirts to get to the perpetrators behind them. Who is really the Cabal in this? Who is really the Reptillian dark force base in this? And why the heck are we falling for their agenda of hate and division?

Who are you… really? Deep down in the core of your being? (I'm asking myself these questions, too, so you're not alone.) When can we just back up and retreat and hide in the stillness and look deep within our own souls and try to resurrect compassion and Oneness with All That Is? Even for those who, on the surface, are miserable hate-mongers? Do they even know what Love is? It could very well be they don't, and that is actually a very sad way to be. It sure as heck doesn't feel good to me.  

I know now why my heart is incapable of Love, real compassionate love. Now that I'm AWARE, I need to deal with the wounds and heal them. I want to know what it's like to love people. I've had to hide who I am for so long I forgot how to BE as opposed to DO.

Nothing wrong with being both, but I'd rather BE first so I can then know what to Do.

I hope this has helped in some way.

Blessings.